My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
