know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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