Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
