$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
