Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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