yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
