Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
