So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
