She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
