I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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