Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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