you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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