sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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