Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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