Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Actions speak louder than pants.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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