Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
