and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Michael Bay diarrhea
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
