yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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