You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
