why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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