i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
