Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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