TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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