You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
