Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
