Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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