When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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