Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
