You can't motorboat a personality
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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