I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
