From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
