we made out on top of his cat.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
