ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
