on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
