weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
