I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
