totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
