it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
