is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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