Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
