You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
