you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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