it wasn't lemon gatorade
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
