Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
