I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
