We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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