yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
