Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I love you.
Bad choice
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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