But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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