Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
